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A guy walks into a pub with an octopus under his arm.
He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this
is a very talented octopus. "He can play any musical instrument in the
Everyone in the pub laughs at the man, calling him an idiot.
So he says that he will bet £50 against anyone who has an instrument that
the octopus can't play.
A customer walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus.
Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing a solo which
would make Jimi Hendrix look like a banjo player. The guitar owner pays up
the £50.
Another customer walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays
the trumpet which would blow Miles Davis out of the studio. The
trumpet-owner coughs up the £50.
Then Hamish walks up, and plonks some bagpipes on the table. The octopus
fumbles with the bagpipes for a minute and then backs off with a confused
Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye nae plae it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to f@ck it as soon
as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off!"